Carol Channing & Pee-Wee Herman: Award Show Chit-Chat

This total crack-up was sent to us by Miss Understood!

There Were Drugs in Her Wig!

The 2008 wig-related crime wave has hit the international scene. A British wigster was arrested in Norway after a customs agent suspected her plus-size ‘do was fake and did some investigating. Taking a peek underneath, the eagle-eyed officer found a kilo of cocaine securely attached to the glamorous mule’s natural hair:

A statement from Norway’s Customs service said: “A customs official thought the woman had a lot of hair and found a kilo of cocaine.

“It happened on Sunday evening. It was a flight from Copenhagen which arrived at 10.40pm.

“The woman and the drugs were later handed to police.”

The woman’s name has not been released.

(“Amy Winehouse,” perhaps?)

Norway’s largest newspaper, Verdens Gang, said the cocaine was glued so firmly to the woman’s real hair that police had to take her to a nearby hospital to have it removed.

Ow!

Bewigged Would-Be Robber Thwarted

Larry Don Enos should have stopped while he was ahead! On Friday, he robbed a Fort Worth bank at gun point, all while duded in up in a wig and a fake moustache. Apparently not content with his booty, the bewigged criminal next went on a carjacking spree. The first woman he approached simply refused to give up her vehicle…

…the second made him wait while she got her kids out of the car. While Enos patiently waited, two men who were inside the bank came out and restrained him until police arrived.

Apparently, Enos took public transportation to the bank and had no get away car. Authorities are still deciding whether to charge him with carjacking.

The good Samaritans were both in the army. No injuries were reported.

…except to poor Larry’s pride (and also probably to his wig).

Bewigged Robber Ties Up Store Clerks

Some guy put on a wig, then went and robbed a convenience store! The fanciful felony occurred in Spartanburg, South Carolina.

According to Major Dan Johnson of the Sheriff’s Office, around 8:45 Thursday night, a man walked into the Family Dollar store, located at 1415 Asheville Highway, wearing a wig and carrying a weapon. The man then tied up two store clerks, and left with $3,000 cash.

The clerks were not injured during the incident, but the suspect managed to flee the scene. The Spartanburg County Sheriff’s Office K-9 unit was brought in to search for the suspect but he was unable to be found.

Montana Wig Bandit Nabbed

Citizens of the Big Sky state are resting a little easier now that a Great Falls bank robber who committed her crime while wearing a wig is safely behind bars. Montana’s News Station has the story:

GREAT FALLS, Mont. (AP) – A 21-year-old woman who pleaded guilty to robbing a Great Falls credit union while wearing a wig and a fake goatee has been sentenced to 20 years in prison with 10 years suspended.

Felicia Gallmeier also must pay more than $8,000 in restitution. She was given credit yesterday toward her prison sentence for the 702 days she has spent in jail since her arrest.

In April 2006, Gallmeier entered the Community Federal Credit Union with a BB gun, a fake grenade and a note demanding money.

Wig Horror as Crime Wave Spreads

Remember how a wig-wearing bandit terrorized Stockton, CA? Now, a frighteningly similar case has emerged from the foreign land of Canada—and this time, the crook is a man! From the Victoria Advocate:

Wigged man robs Ganado bank at gunpoint
BY LESLIE WILBER – VICTORIA ADVOCATE

GANADO – A man with a full, black beard and wearing a wig robbed a York Street bank at gunpoint on Tuesday.

Ganado Police Officer Kelly Janica was not sure how much money was stolen from the First State Bank, at 209 West York St. A man with a medium build, wearing a blue shirt and blue jeans, came into the bank between 2 and 2:30 p.m., Janica said.

The man, who is between 5 foot 7 inches and 6 feet tall, had an accent, Janica said.

There’s more!

Wig-Wearing Robber Terrorizes California Town

A terrifying yet glamorous crime occurred in Stockton, CA, when a woman in a tube top and a wig took part in a brazen car theft—they just walked up to the guy and took the keys out of his pocket!

It’s all there, in the second item:

Robbers – one in a wig – attack man

STOCKTON – A 32-year-old man fought off two robbers – including a bald woman wearing a wig - as they tried to take his wallet and car Thursday evening.

The man was at the intersection of Wilson Way and Walnut Street about 8 p.m. Thursday when a man and a woman approached him and demanded his property, according to the police report. The male robber reached into the man’s pocket to take his wallet, and the two began fighting.

Meanwhile, the woman grabbed the man’s keys and started to take his car. Her partner then tried to get into the car as the car’s owner continued to fight with him.

The robbers left on foot after the car stuck a pole.

One robber was described as a black woman about 35 years old standing about 5 feet tall and heavyset. She was bald but was wearing a black wig. She also wore a red and black tube top and a short skirt.….

Anyone with information is asked to contact the Stockton Police Department at (209) 937-8377.

And send me an email too, please!

Provocative Kiddie Show is No Drag

If more school pageants were like this one in sizzling hot Scotland—it’s set in a bar and features drag, and tiny hoochie dancers—maybe there wouldn’t be so many dropouts!

IT may have featured a man dressed up as a woman, but Talent the Musical was certainly no drag.

Once again Forth Children’s Theatre (FCT) has put together a memorable and enjoyable show, although this Easter holidays production took a few extra risks.

Directed by Katie MacLennan, the show is the story of the Rainbow Room’s hottest singer, Stacey (Ruth Granton)….

Easily the stand-out star of the show was Cameron Dyer as Roxy, the rival bar’s drag queen owner. Injecting a Lily Savage style of comedy into the show, Dyer actually had a better singing voice than his female co-stars.

Other characters that got more than a few laughs were Kylie and Britney (Gemma Lawson and Natalie Allan), the two blonde bimbo waitresses who constantly try to wow the Rainbow Room audiences with their screechy singing and sexy dancing.

As well as a drag queen, the show contains other controversial elements that are perhaps unsuitable for members of a youth theatre. Female dancers dressed in tight leather outfits and moving provocatively over male co-stars should probably be kept for adult theatre companies.

Perhaps!

Male Scholar Dons Wig, “Britches”

Clay Jenkinson is a scholar turned performer who goes around all over the place pretending that he’s Thomas Jefferson or Teddy Roosevelt!

With a winning blend of wit and warmth, author and scholar Clay Jenkinson brought Thomas Jefferson to life Friday in front of an appreciative crowd at the Geneva History Center.

Wearing a wig, coat, vest, britches, stockings and shoes of a gentleman of the early 1800s, Jenkinson gave a brief pronouncement of his (Jefferson’s) beliefs and vision for the fledgling nation, then answered questions while still in character.

Jefferson was the architect of the Declaration of Independence and the third president of the United States, serving 1801 to 1809….

Jenkinson also impersonates Teddy Roosevelt and will perform at 7:30 tonight in the auditorium at Waubonsee Community College in Sugar Grove. Tickets are $39….

“It’s a hobby that has taken control of my life,” he said after the performance.

Jenkinson writes a weekly column for the Bismarck Tribune and hosts a radio show, “The Jefferson Hour.”

“You can download hundreds of hours onto your iPod from my radio show,” he told the audience. “It’s a good thing my subject is Thomas Jefferson and not Millard Fillmore or Gerald Ford.”

Isn’t it, though!

What’s That on His Head—A Wig?

Robbie Carrico, a popular singer from ‘The American Idol Variety Hour” show, might be wearing a wig on his head—an unprecented event in the history of show business! Let’s read!:

That’s the question “American Idol” fans have been asking themselves this week in the wake of online media reports that contestant Robbie Carrico, the self-proclaimed “rocker” who Tuesday night’s performance episode, during which Carrico belted out his take on Foreigner’s “Hot Blooded.” According to TMZ, Carrico’s unkempt hair is actually a wig, which has the show’s producers “flipping out.” The site further claims “sources tell us Robbie never talks about his matted-down piece and that makes production members feel like it’s the blond elephant in the room.”Like the show’s producers, Carrico — the 26-year-old from Melbourne, Florida, who briefly dated Britney Spears and was a member of defunct pop act Boyz N Girlz United — has yet to address the claims.So is David Cook’s comb-over the show’s only duplicitous coif? 

A: I dunno.