Boulder’s Nude Jogging Suspect Likened to Jaybird

David Orloff (pictured) of Boulder, Colo., was jailed on suspicion of running around all over the place with no clothes on, and could even have to register as a sex offender. Excessive? You be the judge!

He faces a charge of indecent exposure, which could come with a penalty of jail time and a hefty fine. He also could have to register as a sex offender, requiring him to live away from churches and schools.

On Saturday, Orloff told officers that “his nudity did not offend anyone,” according to police. But one neighbor was “very upset about Orloff running naked around his house,” police reported.

The neighbor — who said Orloff wasn’t wearing shoes and described him as “naked as a jay bird” — told officers that children live in the area, and “he would be upset if his wife had to see Orloff running around naked.”

Saturday’s anonymous tip wasn’t the first time in the past week that Boulder police have been called about a man running nude along Folsom.

Nude Dude Rescued from Porta-Potty Ordeal

Reader Heather sends word of nude news from Lebanon, Pa.

(AP) Rescue crews had to cut apart a portable toilet to rescue a man who got stuck naked inside the potty.

Authorities say 31-year-old Shannon Hunter, of Lebanon, Pa., used his cell phone to call 911 on Sunday from inside a portable toilet.

Police say Hunter had been drinking and had taken off his clothes. Somehow, he immersed himself in the holding tank.

Deputy fire commissioner Chris Miller told WPMT-TV, “I’ve been on the job in one form or fashion for 21 years, and this is the first port-a-potty rescue I’ve ever had.”

Police charged Hunter with public drunkenness and creating a health code violation, but they have no idea why he was in the toilet with his clothes off. They say he didn’t suffer any serious injuries.

Something about this story stinks!

Teen Princess (Actual) in Nude Romp

Peaches Geldof, watch your back—a princess is coming for your party crown!

Fergie’s younger daughter, Princess Eugenie, recently got in trouble at school for doffing her duds and frolicking about campus with a pack of similarly disrobed pals. Showbiz Spy rightly takes royalty for showbiz and thus reports on the boozy Brit:

Young British royal PRINCESS EUGENIE has sparked controversy after she was allegedly caught frolicking nude during a drunken night out in the grounds of her posh boarding school.

The 18-year-old daughter of Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson, Duchess of York, is reported by Britain’s The Sun newspaper to have run riot with her gal pals in the gardens of the $46,000 (GBP23,000)-a-year Marlborough College in Wiltshire, England earlier this month (Jun08).

The teenagers’ antics were discovered after a senior staff member was woken by shrieks coming from the lawns. When the school worker went to investigate, they found a large group of students dancing around naked….

Thank you to reader Heather for the provocative tip!

Nude Menace on Utah Highway

Another cars-and-nudity related crime has scandalized the people of Utah, hot on the heels of last week’s harrowing nude head-on collision and rampage in Sandy. The latest incident involved a 24-year-old man at a “scenic viewing spot”:

Police in eastern Utah arrested a naked man they say was jumping in front of cars on a highway.

About 11:50 p.m. Sunday, Uintah County Sheriff’s deputies and a Vernal officer found the naked 24-year-old from Austin, Colo., at a scenic viewing spot along U.S. Highway 40. Sheriff’s Lt. John Laursen said motorists reported the man was jumping in front of their vehicles and as deputies arrived he jumped in front of them, too.

Laursen said deputies do not know how the man arrived at the scenic view or why he stripped.

He was booked into the Uintah County jail on suspicion of indecent exposure and trespassing.

Nude Maid Eyed in Tampa Jewel Heist

The Fox news coverage of this alarming crime is poorly written and hard to make sense of, but I think taking off her clothes was actually part of this maid’s services. It all begins illogically:

TAMPA, Fla. — A nude maid stripped off her clothes and stripped a Florida homeowner of $40,000 in jewelry in a brazen robbery in the buff.

After the 50-year-old man hired the woman from the Internet on Friday, the maid stole from his suburban Tampa home despite not wearing any clothes, the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office said.

The woman arrived at the home in a one-piece, light colored dress. She took off the dress and cleaned the house for $100-per-hour, authorities said.

The man told deputies he left the maid alone in the bedroom to clean, according to sheriff’s office spokeswoman Debbie Carter.

When the man’s wife came home from vacation, she discovered $40,000 in jewelry missing from their bedroom.

Police are investigating.

Nude Crash for Party People

On the heels of the recent nude head-on collision in Utah, another nude car-crash has occurred in interestingly named St. Lucie, Florida.:

A car carrying a nude couple smashed a road sign and struck a utility pole north of Fort Pierce Friday night, according to a St. Lucie sheriff’s report.

Megan Marie Douglas, 18, of Fort Pierce, who told St. Lucie County sheriff’s deputies the two had just had sex, was charged with drug possession and driving under the influence, according to the report. She told officers she drank three or four beers before the Toyota Highlander went off the road at U.S. 1 and 25th Street.

Marijuana was found in her purse, and she said she deals in marijuana, according to the report.

Nude Attack on Owner of Cat, Bronco

This scary spree began with a lost cat and a deliberate head-on collision:

A woman was arrested on suspicion of aggravated assault Tuesday morning after she allegedly attacked the two passengers of the car she slammed into – all while naked.

The 38-year-old Sandy woman, who has a long history of mental illness, was driving near 7600 S. 460 East at about 7 a.m. when she intentionally hit a Bronco being driven on the wrong side of the road by a man who was looking for his cat, said Sandy Police Sgt. Victor Quezada.

After everyone got out of their vehicles, the woman began pushing, hitting and kicking the two men in the Bronco, police said. The woman got into the vehicle she hit and attempted to drive off. When it wouldn’t go, she got out and retrieved her car keys and began walking.

She followed a 14-year-old girl who was walking out of a nearby house, until a bystander told the teen to get back inside, police said. The woman pounded and kicked opened the door of the house, police said. There was no relation between the woman and the people living in the house….

Police arrested the woman on suspicion of aggravated assault, leaving the scene of an accident, trespassing and lewdness.

Nude Man Steals Truck, “Coveralls”

The shocking offense occurred in a suburb of Vancouver, British Columbia:

The unidentified 49-year-old man allegedly first appeared at a farm without any clothes on and grabbed a pair of coveralls before climbing into the cab of the 15-ton truck around 6:30 a.m., The Province newspaper reported.

Royal Canadian Mounted Police officers stopped the truck before it got far, RCMP Constable Dave Babineau told the Canadian Broadcasting Corp.

“The officers actually approached the vehicle and again the man showed very irrational behavior and told officers that he was going to drive the truck to a bridge and blow it up and they would never catch him,” he said.

Nude Tumble Wounded the Radio Star

Colorful Australian radio star “Big Bob” Francis (above) was nude in his yard for an 11am tinkle—then he slipped!:

The colourful radio talkback king, 68, can ruefully laugh about his predicament now but says the past two weeks in hospital have been a nightmare.

Francis took advantage of the solitude of his back yard to “water the garden” in his birthday suit about 11am a fortnight ago.

But he slipped and as he grabbed at his back door for support, it swung and he fell to the ground, injuring his right leg which was still recovering from an accident seven months earlier.

With no one home and unable to get up, he lay calling for help for 15 minutes until his neighbour came to his rescue. Within two days, the leg became infected with golden staph and Francis has spent the past two weeks being treated in Memorial Hospital at North Adelaide.

He should be able to head home on Monday but faces another week with his leg up.
…

Despite the setback, Francis can still laugh at the circumstances, including how his startled neighbour found him sans clothes.

“I went outside for a pee stark-naked and when I slipped I grabbed the door which kept moving, so it was a slow fall,” he said. “I must have been quite a sight laying there naked….”

The tumble follows injuries suffered seven months ago when Francis fell from his 50cc scooter after a dog bolted in front of him during a short trip from the Lion Hotel to his North Adelaide home.

He had been celebrating with colleagues after being offered a new contract, in his landmark 50th year in radio.

Francis suffered a broken femur in that accident – and lost his licence for six months for drink-driving – and how has a titanium plate running from hip to knee.

He hopes to be back on his 8pm-midnight weekdays shift on 5AA in a week.

Another Jesus-Related Public Penis Exhibition

Last week, Jesus told some dude to take a pantsless walk down the road. Now, His own son is getting in on the nudie action:

FORT PIERCE — Police arrested a New York man Friday afternoon who reportedly swam naked at a public beach and claimed to be the “son of Christ,” according to an arrest report.

Police were called to Causeway Park in the 400 block of Seaway Drive around 2:30 p.m. Friday after getting calls from people about a naked man. Officers found the man swimming naked in the ocean and told him to put clothes on, the report states.

The man, later identified as Jason Ozman, 29, of Chatham, N.Y., said he was the “son of Christ.” There were many children in the area and one child told police Ozman touched himself in a lewd manner and jumped up and down while walking naked on the beach, the report states.

One mother said she first noticed Ozman after her 3-year-old daughter said, “Mommy look, he is butt naked.” Ozman was charged with a felony count of lewd and lascivious behavior and a misdeameanor count of indecent exposure. He remained in the St. Lucie County Jail without bond Sunday.