Carol Channing Goes to Bakersfield

Broadway superstar Carol Channing’s string of benefit performances for arts programs in public schools continues its barrage of good with an upcoming performance in glamour-starved Bakersfield, CA. Like usual, the local paper interviewed the ebullient performer:

When I ran for vice president in junior high, I said, “Harry, I need a campaign song.”

(Carol calls out to Harry)

Harry, what was our theme song?

(The couple sing over the phone)

“We want Carol! We want Carol! When I’m VP, we’ll all leave school at 12 o’clock! When I am vice president! We want Carol!”

We had many choruses. We had a campaign slogan: “If Carol’s your vice, it’s a virtue!”

Believe it!

Did Peaches Geldof Shoplift?

Maybe! She says it was all a misunderstanding, maybe having to do with the fact that she was shooting a reality show (ew!) at the time the dress left the shop without saying good-bye. For their part, the store isn’t being so nice about it:

PEACHES Geldof was last night accused of leaving a shop with a £500 dress without paying for it.

Sir Bob Geldof’s daughter allegedly walked out with the designer frock from the Victim store in London, on Thursday.

Montana Wig Bandit Nabbed

Citizens of the Big Sky state are resting a little easier now that a Great Falls bank robber who committed her crime while wearing a wig is safely behind bars. Montana’s News Station has the story:

GREAT FALLS, Mont. (AP) – A 21-year-old woman who pleaded guilty to robbing a Great Falls credit union while wearing a wig and a fake goatee has been sentenced to 20 years in prison with 10 years suspended.

Felicia Gallmeier also must pay more than $8,000 in restitution. She was given credit yesterday toward her prison sentence for the 702 days she has spent in jail since her arrest.

In April 2006, Gallmeier entered the Community Federal Credit Union with a BB gun, a fake grenade and a note demanding money.

Wig Horror as Crime Wave Spreads

Remember how a wig-wearing bandit terrorized Stockton, CA? Now, a frighteningly similar case has emerged from the foreign land of Canada—and this time, the crook is a man! From the Victoria Advocate:

Wigged man robs Ganado bank at gunpoint
BY LESLIE WILBER – VICTORIA ADVOCATE

GANADO – A man with a full, black beard and wearing a wig robbed a York Street bank at gunpoint on Tuesday.

Ganado Police Officer Kelly Janica was not sure how much money was stolen from the First State Bank, at 209 West York St. A man with a medium build, wearing a blue shirt and blue jeans, came into the bank between 2 and 2:30 p.m., Janica said.

The man, who is between 5 foot 7 inches and 6 feet tall, had an accent, Janica said.

There’s more!

Wig-Wearing Robber Terrorizes California Town

A terrifying yet glamorous crime occurred in Stockton, CA, when a woman in a tube top and a wig took part in a brazen car theft—they just walked up to the guy and took the keys out of his pocket!

It’s all there, in the second item:

Robbers – one in a wig – attack man

STOCKTON – A 32-year-old man fought off two robbers – including a bald woman wearing a wig - as they tried to take his wallet and car Thursday evening.

The man was at the intersection of Wilson Way and Walnut Street about 8 p.m. Thursday when a man and a woman approached him and demanded his property, according to the police report. The male robber reached into the man’s pocket to take his wallet, and the two began fighting.

Meanwhile, the woman grabbed the man’s keys and started to take his car. Her partner then tried to get into the car as the car’s owner continued to fight with him.

The robbers left on foot after the car stuck a pole.

One robber was described as a black woman about 35 years old standing about 5 feet tall and heavyset. She was bald but was wearing a black wig. She also wore a red and black tube top and a short skirt.….

Anyone with information is asked to contact the Stockton Police Department at (209) 937-8377.

And send me an email too, please!

From Canada: Carol Channing Fan Art!

A class project from the sharp & talented Kaleb.

More Accolades for Carol Channing

Carol Channing’s recent stop in Portsmouth, NH, caused a flurry of press coverage. Governor John Lynch declared Carol Channing Day, Mayor Thomas Ferrini (above) sang along with Carol in his office, and her show was a smashing success as usual. And happy Carol loved Portsmouth right back:

Glancing out the window of Ferrini’s office, she said her first time in the city had given her an epiphany.

“This is the cleanest city in the whole world,” she said. “Oh, Portsmouth’s beautiful!”

May every day be Carol Channing day!

Nude Tumble Wounded the Radio Star

Colorful Australian radio star “Big Bob” Francis (above) was nude in his yard for an 11am tinkle—then he slipped!:

The colourful radio talkback king, 68, can ruefully laugh about his predicament now but says the past two weeks in hospital have been a nightmare.

Francis took advantage of the solitude of his back yard to “water the garden” in his birthday suit about 11am a fortnight ago.

But he slipped and as he grabbed at his back door for support, it swung and he fell to the ground, injuring his right leg which was still recovering from an accident seven months earlier.

With no one home and unable to get up, he lay calling for help for 15 minutes until his neighbour came to his rescue. Within two days, the leg became infected with golden staph and Francis has spent the past two weeks being treated in Memorial Hospital at North Adelaide.

He should be able to head home on Monday but faces another week with his leg up.
…

Despite the setback, Francis can still laugh at the circumstances, including how his startled neighbour found him sans clothes.

“I went outside for a pee stark-naked and when I slipped I grabbed the door which kept moving, so it was a slow fall,” he said. “I must have been quite a sight laying there naked….”

The tumble follows injuries suffered seven months ago when Francis fell from his 50cc scooter after a dog bolted in front of him during a short trip from the Lion Hotel to his North Adelaide home.

He had been celebrating with colleagues after being offered a new contract, in his landmark 50th year in radio.

Francis suffered a broken femur in that accident – and lost his licence for six months for drink-driving – and how has a titanium plate running from hip to knee.

He hopes to be back on his 8pm-midnight weekdays shift on 5AA in a week.

Provocative Kiddie Show is No Drag

If more school pageants were like this one in sizzling hot Scotland—it’s set in a bar and features drag, and tiny hoochie dancers—maybe there wouldn’t be so many dropouts!

IT may have featured a man dressed up as a woman, but Talent the Musical was certainly no drag.

Once again Forth Children’s Theatre (FCT) has put together a memorable and enjoyable show, although this Easter holidays production took a few extra risks.

Directed by Katie MacLennan, the show is the story of the Rainbow Room’s hottest singer, Stacey (Ruth Granton)….

Easily the stand-out star of the show was Cameron Dyer as Roxy, the rival bar’s drag queen owner. Injecting a Lily Savage style of comedy into the show, Dyer actually had a better singing voice than his female co-stars.

Other characters that got more than a few laughs were Kylie and Britney (Gemma Lawson and Natalie Allan), the two blonde bimbo waitresses who constantly try to wow the Rainbow Room audiences with their screechy singing and sexy dancing.

As well as a drag queen, the show contains other controversial elements that are perhaps unsuitable for members of a youth theatre. Female dancers dressed in tight leather outfits and moving provocatively over male co-stars should probably be kept for adult theatre companies.

Perhaps!