Glamorous Carol Channing Is Honored

Carol Channing gave away that dress at last—the one was stolen from her a few months ago—and the Smithsonian honored her and other great ladies of show business in a gala North Hollywood event. Though her shimmering gown is now in the museum’s collection, Carol was nevertheless glammed to the hilt, even wearing a $40 million diamond on her neck. Those are U.S. dollars, but still!:

These great gals helped create the entertainment business. They were pioneer women in TV, stage and films. Others just follow in their footsteps.

They are the legendary ladies who have become showbiz icons– Carol Channing, Florence Henderson, Julie Newmar, Esther Williams, Tippi Hedren, June Lockhart and Rose Marie. These seven stars were recently honored by the Smithsonian National Museum of American History, which will showcase mementos from their enduring careers in permanent exhibits….

“Tonight is a tremendous night for all of us, because now we are all historic monuments,” Carol Channing gushed with youthful enthusiasm, noting that she was just turning 87. When the VIP audience at the El Portal Theater in North Hollywood broke into applause, she coyly added, “Oh, is that an achievement?” Yes, indeed. Especially when you remain the consummate entertainer, and quick with the ad-libs, like the rest of her gal-pals….

Julie Newmar, 74, gave up her Catwoman costume, from the campy Batman series. She could still fit into the outfit and make guys go wild– if she wanted to. But Newmar said it was time to let it go, and just enjoy having men and young boys “stop me on the street and say ‘Do you know that you were my first turn-on?’” [Gross!]…

Channing, the Broadway legend who starred in Hello, Dolly, and got an Oscar nominee [sic!] for Thoroughly Modern Millie, donated the “diamond dress” designed by Bob Mackie for her stage role as Lorelei in Gentlemen Prefer Blondes. In keeping with her “Diamonds are a girl’s best friend” persona, Carol wore a $40 million Arch Duke Joseph diamond necklace to the dazzling Smithsonian event.

An inspiration to everyone for generations, Carol still performs in theaters around the country, doing her one-woman show. “And I visit schools to talk about keeping the creative arts programs alive. I raise money for them so that kids can enjoy the theater and grow up full of wonder about the world.” She and her husband have formed the Carol Channing/Harry Kulijian Endowment for the Arts Foundation which creates scholarships for students.

It was a wonderful to see all those talented and generous women on stage talking about their lives and their treasured mementos that will be preserved in the permanent entertainment collections of the National Museum of American History.

Hooray for Carol—her sparkle now belongs to history!

Male Scholar Dons Wig, “Britches”

Clay Jenkinson is a scholar turned performer who goes around all over the place pretending that he’s Thomas Jefferson or Teddy Roosevelt!

With a winning blend of wit and warmth, author and scholar Clay Jenkinson brought Thomas Jefferson to life Friday in front of an appreciative crowd at the Geneva History Center.

Wearing a wig, coat, vest, britches, stockings and shoes of a gentleman of the early 1800s, Jenkinson gave a brief pronouncement of his (Jefferson’s) beliefs and vision for the fledgling nation, then answered questions while still in character.

Jefferson was the architect of the Declaration of Independence and the third president of the United States, serving 1801 to 1809….

Jenkinson also impersonates Teddy Roosevelt and will perform at 7:30 tonight in the auditorium at Waubonsee Community College in Sugar Grove. Tickets are $39….

“It’s a hobby that has taken control of my life,” he said after the performance.

Jenkinson writes a weekly column for the Bismarck Tribune and hosts a radio show, “The Jefferson Hour.”

“You can download hundreds of hours onto your iPod from my radio show,” he told the audience. “It’s a good thing my subject is Thomas Jefferson and not Millard Fillmore or Gerald Ford.”

Isn’t it, though!

Peaches’s Tranny Outrage

Something on Wikipedia was not true! Pink News got the “scoop”:

Part-time broadcaster, full time party girl Peaches Geldof is said to be furious after her Wikipedia page claims she is a transsexual.

A mischievous hacker has altered her entry on the online encyclopaedia to read: “Peaches Geldof is hung like a donkey. She is one hot ladyboy.”

The 19-year old daughter of Bob Geldof has apparently emailed close friends asking: “WTF is going on with my Wikipedia? It’s sick. Bell me up if any of you know who did it.”

It is believed “bell me up” is a reference to the telephone.

Oh, is it?

Another Jesus-Related Public Penis Exhibition

Last week, Jesus told some dude to take a pantsless walk down the road. Now, His own son is getting in on the nudie action:

FORT PIERCE — Police arrested a New York man Friday afternoon who reportedly swam naked at a public beach and claimed to be the “son of Christ,” according to an arrest report.

Police were called to Causeway Park in the 400 block of Seaway Drive around 2:30 p.m. Friday after getting calls from people about a naked man. Officers found the man swimming naked in the ocean and told him to put clothes on, the report states.

The man, later identified as Jason Ozman, 29, of Chatham, N.Y., said he was the “son of Christ.” There were many children in the area and one child told police Ozman touched himself in a lewd manner and jumped up and down while walking naked on the beach, the report states.

One mother said she first noticed Ozman after her 3-year-old daughter said, “Mommy look, he is butt naked.” Ozman was charged with a felony count of lewd and lascivious behavior and a misdeameanor count of indecent exposure. He remained in the St. Lucie County Jail without bond Sunday.

Arab Times: Drunk Asian Man Found Nude

Nude!:

Kuwait Police have arrested an Asian man for consuming alcohol, reports Al-Watan daily.

According to a security source the man was semi-naked lying next to a garbage container in Mangaf. Two Kuwaiti women who were passing by thought the man was dead and informed the police.

However, some passersby and friends helped the drunkard to wear a pair of trousers before police arrived.

According to a security source the man was so high on alcohol he did not know what he was doing.

Jesus Says: Doff Your Duds, Start Walking

From stupid Florida:

Nude Stroll Gets Man Arrested

Police have charged a man from Fort Pierce, Florida with exposure of sex organs after taking a leisurely stroll down a state highway with no clothes on.

Police said that David John Campbell was completely naked when he went out for a walk. A deputy caught up with Campbell at 6 a.m. as school buses were out on the highway he was walking.

According to the police report, Campbell said he was instructed by Jesus to take the naked stroll.

Q&A—with Carol Channing!

Carol does some new material for Seacoast Entertainment…and some old!:

SMG: Did you know Governor Lynch is declaring April 3 Carol Channing Day in New Hampshire?

CC: That’s the second Carol Channing Day! I never had two Carol Channing Days so close together. I enjoy that very much. Governor Lynch is wonderful. He knows how important the arts are in public school. People think reading, writing, and arithmetic and just a business course is all their son needs. This is absorbing my entire brain right now. It’s really absorbing all of me….

SMG: I can imagine that you’ve met with some important people in your time. I have read that you met with Queen Elizabeth.

CC: Oh, many times. She came to this country and asked for me to sit on her left, and her sister was on her right. She laughed her head off up in the royal box. And the queen mum! I was throwing out diamonds during when I sang “Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend,” and the Queen Mum leaned so far forward to catch them that I thought it was going to be a catastrophic death. I said I’d better go over and give her a diamond, this is terrible! They have their own little box with their own silver tea set and their own bathroom, and I guess they could live there. They all wanted diamonds. The queen mum was the greediest! I gave her several diamonds because she was leaning out so far. She wanted diamonds for everyone in her palace, so I gave her plenty. She was wonderful though, I thought she was great. She had no ego. None. When she came to the country again, she asked for me, and I thought “oh, I can’t believe it.”

Channing-esque Battle Creek Belter Looks Back

Maida Schwartzkopf, of cereal capital Battle Creek, MI, loves to sit around and reminisce about past local theatrical triumphs with her pussy:

Maida Schwartzkopf, 87, and her plump cat, Cleo, live vibrantly in the world of the arts.

Original paintings and quilts cover every inch of wall space in their small senior-community apartment, and Maida loves to reminisce, telling Cleo about her days as an actress, singer, dancer and United Arts Council leader.

Cleo loves to hear Maida sing tunes from “Hello Dolly,” her favorite musical. Or songs from “My Fair Lady,” or “Music Man,” or many other musicals. Or hear how, besides performing in the Civic Theater in Battle Creek, Tibbits Opera House in Coldwater and in Grand Rapids in a Theater in the Park production, Maida wrote ads for the Leila Follies and helped with props and sets for the Civic Theater.

Cleo especially loves hearing a favorite memory from when Maida starred in “You Were Miss Piggy” and had to wear a pig nose….

Marijke Guerin, a long-time supporter of the arts in Battle Creek, especially remembers Maida’s smile.”She has a very expressive face, which, of course, stood her in good stead when doing what she liked best, performing, acting and singing,” Guerin said. “She could belt out a song in a way that would make Ethel Merman and Carol Channing envious.”…

When asked about the down side of living in a senior community, she, without hesitation, declared she couldn’t find one.

“I’ve had 87 glorious years,” she insisted, “and I’m not done yet.”

No-Pants Coffee Break Ends in Arrest

The scandalous incident occurred in a Yorktown, NY, drive-thru:

They say a Dunkin’ Donuts worker saw John Greco’s exposed genitals when he ordered coffee on February 27, in Yorktown, NY. The observant worker also noted the make of his car and his license plate number.

Nude Rampage Ruins Meat-Wrapping Machine, More

A shocking incident of naked aggression occurred in Lancaster, PA:

LANCASTER, Pa. (AP) — Police in Pennsylvania say they’ve arrested a naked man who ran amok on Friday, attacking businesses near a resort area…. Authorities say some office space at the hotel was trashed, a forklift was driven into an interior wall, and an overhead sewer pipe was damaged….Police say the man then entered a nearby market, and threw a 300-pound pizza oven to the floor.

Among other equipment damaged in the incident — which was captured on surveillance cameras — was a $90,000 meat-wrapping machine.

The 28-year-old suspect had reportedly been a guest at the resort. He’s now charged with risking a catastrophe, criminal mischief, open lewdness and other counts. He’s been ordered held in Lancaster County Prison on $200,000 bail.